Kame is always stretching, always climbing, always reaching to greater heights. It is, I think, how we grow. Staying still means atrophy. We can only continue to live by moving.While Kame was in hibernation this winter, he nearly stopped growing, stopped changing. He slipped into a long period of quiet and rest, hardly moving except when I'd dig him out of his mulch to weigh him and dip him in his pan for a drink, a process he resented. He made his displeasure known with hisses and tucking himself into his shell...
Much the same way I wanted to tuck myself up in a shell and hide over these past two years. Life, however, has a way of moving on and we must grow... or atrophy.
Three summers ago, I lost a dear friend. I've mentioned her here before. Shirley was more than a friend to me, she was a mentor, someone I looked up to, and sometimes someone I went to for guidance and advice. She was an incredible lady, and I was blessed to know her.
Remembering her, however, without learning and growing from what she offered through her life and the work she did as a teacher would do her memory a disservice. Good people are remembered fondly. Great people leave a legacy. Shirley was one of the greats... and so, Saturday Night Live style, I'd like to share the ten most important things I learned from knowing her. I learned many more things, of course, but while I was at Montrose last week, sitting in one of the rockers on the porch, and contemplating our time together, these are the first that bubbled to the surface.
This is the top ten things I learned from knowing Shirley, part one:
10) Always smile. Your smile is what people will remember when you're gone, so use it often, so that it is etched clearly in their memory.
9) When something's funny, laugh. Laugh until your belly hurts, until tears are running down your face, until you can't breathe. Laugh with your friends, and share their joy.
8) Listen. Really listen. Your story isn't nearly as important for others to hear as theirs is for them to tell. Often, if someone's telling you their story, it's because they need to tell it to themselves, to begin to understand it. Listening can be the most beautiful gift you can share with another human being.
(Shirley was an expert listener, a skill for which I will always be grateful.)
7) Be transparent. When the time is appropriate, share the parts of your story you own, the parts you've already come to understanding and peace with, the parts that can uplift and heal someone else. Don't try to make it pretty. People need honesty, need to know they're not the only ones who've been where they are.
6) Take care of yourself and know your limits. Rest when you need to rest. Take time away to pray and to be alone with God. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds sometimes, to rest and meditate.
That's it for today, folks. I'll give you the top five in the next post. For now, I have other work to do, and miles to go before I sleep.
Safe travels.
Rejoicing in the day,
-Mary
~*~*~
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
"Stopping by woods on a snowy evening"
-Robert Frost
